A/N: Hey! Sorry for the long delay on this one. But it's out, at least! We're not skipping releases entirely, and that's what counts. This was a tough one to write, and may be a tough one to read, so here come the content warnings in one, two, doobie doobie do... now: suicidal ideation, suicidal humor, physical abuse, verbal abuse. Yeah, we got a fun one today folks. Enjoy!Oh, and as for music, you can probably go ahead and start the chapter already listening to this one:https://youtu.be/pAkvF7HkFEYAnd then at the first transformation phrase you see, go ahead and swap to this one:https://youtu.be/z1C5_5XFTbcEnjoy the chapter!

I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry.

"I said SHUT UP!" I roar, my voice coming out like a thunderclap and forcing the damn Artifact away as I try to hit it with my staff.

It really is the artifact. I've been talking with a robot this entire time. Just some… some awful thing claiming to be my friend! I can't stand it. I can't fucking stand it!

Magic pours out of me like a waterfall, the whole world seeming to bend to my will at the slightest provocation. I speak spells, and they rush forth eagerly, with more power than they've ever had before, but I can also just feel, and the air itself makes the target feel my pain. Pale imitations of Minerva's lightning crash like howling ghosts alongside my own thunder, the wind screaming in concert with my throat.

I just want it all to stop. I want to tear it all down as I tear myself open. The pain they've inflicted on me isn't enough. It isn't nearly enough…!

"[M ᴇ ɢ ᴀ B ᴜ s ᴛ ᴇ ʀ]" the artifact incants, and I smack the shot out of the air with my staff, uncaring about the way the force of the blast rocks painfully up my arms.

It's already moving to respond, though, like it always is. Yet it feels slower than it ever did before, so even though it's closing the distance to take advantage of how I clumsily blocked its shot, I can respond to this new attack, too. I bring my staff back around, pain from my broken elbow wracking through my arm, but the robot dodges it, ducking underneath and rushing forward for a grab. I fail to dissuade it with a knee to its nonexistent metal gut, and it catches me in a low-body tackle, knocking me off my feet.

"Stop fighting, Fulgora, please!" the artifact begs. "Jim misses you!"

How dare you speak his name! I pour power into my claws and scratch at this awful thing, but they don't cut as deep as they did the last time, repelled by shields they had previously ignored. Is this thing adapting, or just getting more power from Amalthea? Whatever. It doesn't matter.

"Hᴇʟʟ's Hᴀᴍᴍᴇʀ!" I roar, bringing my skeletal fist up before slamming it down as hard as I can on the artifact's back. 

Grip broken, it slams face-first into the ground, cracking the asphalt. I lift up a foot to continue the attack, but as usual the damn robot isn't slowed down at all by the impact and manages to leap away immediately. Annoying thing.

"Luna, I really don't think we're going to be talking her out of it!" Amalthea whimpers.

"Well I had to try!" the artifact insists. It's so weird, hearing that thing talk. "I've spent the better part of my magical new existence mute and therefore powerless to try and attempt negotiations with anyone! I'm not missing my chance to finally take enough moral high ground to prove none of it was my fault."

Huh. That's actually an interesting point. I shouldn't be angry at the artifact. This isn't its fault. It's mine. Everything bad that happened was always because of me.

"Fᴜʟᴍɪɴᴀɴᴛ Fʟᴀsʜ," I incant, sending out another horrible bolt of lightning toward Amalthea, the surge of hopelessness within me making it even stronger than before.

The Artifact jumps in the way of the attack, my power crackling across its shining surface, but it still doesn't go down. Outside of the one time I clawed through its chestplate, nothing I've done has caused any visible damage, but that's okay. I can feel the concern, the fear, and the desperation each of my attacks inflicts, and that's enough to know I'm making progress.

"Fᴏʀᴄᴇ Cᴀᴘᴀᴄɪᴛᴏʀ!" Amalthea incants, putting yet another spell on the robot as it charges my way once more. 

What is a 'capacitor,' anyway? I have no idea what that spell is supposed to do, though I know what force is, at least. So does this spell make the robot hit harder, or does it make the robot get hit less hard? Easy way to find out, I suppose. 

"Lɪɢʜᴛɴɪɴɢ Sᴛʀɪᴋᴇ!" I snap, swinging my staff at it. 

What!? It dodged this time! Stupid thing is adapting, like it always fucking does. Whatever. I'll just use another spell. And then another, and then another, and then another until it's finally nothing but scrap! I ignore whatever attack it's trying to strike me with and bring my fist down again.

"Hᴇʟʟ's Hᴀᴍᴍᴇʀ!"

And again!

"Fᴜʟᴍɪɴᴀɴᴛ Cʟᴀᴡ!"

And AGAIN!

"Lɪɢʜᴛɴɪɴɢ Sᴛʀɪᴋᴇ!"

AND AGAIN!

"Luna! Look out!"

Don't don't don't don't do it don't do it I'm sorry!

"Aʙʀᴇᴀᴄᴛɪᴏɴ: Wᴇᴇᴘɪɴɢ Sᴋʏ!"

I bring my claws down one last time, though despite all the damage I've wrought, the artifact dodges at the final moment, leaping back out of my reach. But that's fine. It doesn't matter if I hit that thing or not. My claws tear through reality around us, leaving black gashes through the air where they trail. Holes open in that thin membrane between our universe and the storm between, and the bubble protecting Earth from its wrath pops.

It's just for a moment, and it's just here, in our little slice of reality. A block, no more. But the howling winds of chaos itself roar through the sky, ripping branches off of trees and shingles off of buildings. A rainstorm unlike our reality has ever seen slaps the ground like it's disciplining a child. The needle-like droplets, traveling far beyond the speed mere gravity could accelerate them to, rip through everything in their way, driving pinprick holes deep into the ground with enough force to carve through steel.

"Pʜᴏᴛᴏɴ Bᴀʀʀɪᴇʀ!" Amalthea incants, creating a shield overhead to save her from getting her skull shattered by the rain.

This is the storm we swam through. This is what I survived. If you can't, then you never stood a chance against me anyway. 

The robot barely manages to rush underneath Amalthea's shield before everything is torn asunder, the buildings around us ripped apart by the combination of wind and rain. Since it didn't even try to shield itself, I'm gonna guess it's dangerously low on power. Good. I'll smash it to bits and steal Amalthea from it before returning to the castle. She's not strong enough to fight me on her own. I walk toward them, lightning crackling around my staff, sparks flying as I drag it against the ground. 

The raindrops warp around me as I approach, never quite making contact with my skin or bones. Slowly, the gash in reality closes, but before the storm has run its course, Amalthea's shield finally shatters under the onslaught. Raindrops pierce through her like bullets, carving holes through her shoulder and thigh before the artifact jumps in front of her, its own shield holding out for less than a second before the machine starts getting punctured full of holes as well. Though unfortunately, it's barely not quite enough. Both of them are still conscious, and the fear mage will rapidly refill on power since she can't possibly win.

Best to take care of that quickly.

"Sᴀɴʀᴀɪᴛᴏ Hᴇɴsʜɪɴ!"

Huh…? Isn't that—

"Yᴇᴀʀɴɪɴɢ Fʟᴀsʜ Lɪɢʜᴛsᴘᴇᴇᴅ Aᴍᴀᴛᴇʀᴀsᴜ!"

I sigh. You know what? This is fine. I never really liked her.

That's not true…

"Shut up!" I snap, turning toward the sound of Amaterasu's voice… just in time to see a blade nearly pierce through my only working eye.

A burst of fear hits me for the first time in a while, and I barely manage to lean away from the blow, losing a chunk of my nose rather than the entire fight. Amaterasu turns in the air to face me, skidding to a stop with the claws on one hand and her canine legs digging into the road. Hmm. She's a lot less human than the last time I saw her. I guess I'm not the only traitor.

"Luna-san! Thea-san!" the wolf barks. "Are you alright!?"

"She's leaking magic like half a bucket!" the artifact shouts back. "Treat her like she used a Catharsis! Keep her busy for as long as you can, and she'll run out of gas!"

"Wakarimashita! Catch, Luna-san!" 

Something appears in Amaterasu's hand in a flash of yellow, and she throws it at the artifact with enough force that I almost think it's an attack. When the artifact's hand snaps up to catch it, though, I realize she was just trying to make sure I didn't intercept it. I recognize that! It's a yellow LCI! Amaterasu really is a traitor, she's trying to give the robot its power back! 

What do you even MEAN, 'traitor?' You're not making any sense!

I don't have time to yell at the fake Minerva, I have to get that LCI. I leap forward, only to have a furry projectile crack my skeletal arm with one of her daggers.

"Dɪᴠɪɴᴇ Bʀᴇᴀᴋᴇʀ!" she howls, enveloping herself in orange light and shoving me further with an extra burst of thrust.

The artifact, meanwhile, pops open a plate on its thigh and slams the LCI in, depressing the plunger and injecting the power within directly into its systems.

"Oh YEAH!" the artifact cheers, its voice sounding more synthesized than natural all of a sudden. "That's the GOOD shit! Uma'mama's getting chin scritches for this! [Kᴀɢᴄʜᴛsᴏʜ]!"

In a flash of light, all the damage I did to the artifact just vanishes. God, it's like fighting Nanaya all over again! I was winning. I was winning, and now I'm going to lose!

Am I… excited?

I let a feral grin cross the parts of my face that can still smile. Good, the monster should lose! Come at me, then! 

You never wanted to win in the first place, did you? Oh, Fulgora…

"Gʟᴇᴀᴍ Bʟᴀᴅᴇ!" Amaterasu incants, the reach of her daggers extending as they get enveloped in cutting light.

"[G ʟ ᴇ ᴀ ᴍ B ʟ ᴀ ᴅ ᴇ]" the artifact copies, summoning two shining daggers of her own.

Amaterasu makes an annoyed face and barks something at it in Japanese, which the artifact responds to by laughing and responding in the same language. The two of them flank me on either side, making it impossible for me to see both of them at once with just the singular eye on my forehead. Hah. As if I don't know how to fight while surrounded. Like I haven't taken on swarms by myself! Like I don't know all too well what it's like to be alone!

"Tʏᴘʜᴏᴏɴ Bᴜʀsᴛ!" I roar as I hear them charge, knocking the artifact away.

Amaterasu manages to pull back from my omnidirectional attack, once again saying something in Japanese. I understand one thing from her babbling this time, though: 'Fulgora-san.' Again, the artifact responds, and I feel a burst of fear and sadness from my former fellow guardian. But also… joy?

"Fulgora-san… you're alive!?" she gapes at me.

Help her, Amaterasu!

"Shut up!" I snap, hurling a lightning bolt toward the damn dog. It hits her in the chest, and she lets out a grunt of pain, but at least it returns her focus to the fight, hardening her gaze.

"She was isolated for eight months, she's not in her right mind!" the artifact insists.

"I can see that!" Amaterasu growls. "You are coming with us, Fulgora-san! Fʟᴀsʜ Dᴀɴᴄᴇ!"

"[F ʟ ᴀ s ʜ D ᴀ ɴ ᴄ ᴇ]" the artifact copies, the two of them leaving an X-shaped shining trail as they both slash through me at the same time, cutting gouges out of my incarnate form. What do I care, though? I'm already bleeding out. Again, Amaterasu barks something I can't understand at the robot.

"Whaaaaat?" it protests. "No, it's cool!"

"Take this seriously!" Amaterasu groans.

"I'm just following your lead, senpai! Promise!"

"S-sorry about her!" Amalthea says, struggling to her feet. "LCIs make her a little loopy!" 

"You're up. How long can you hold your incarnate form, Thea?" Amaterasu asks.

"Not very," she admits with a wince.

"Return to base, then!" Amaterasu orders. "Go!"

"A-are you sure!?"

"We've got this, master!" the artifact says cheerfully, flipping one of her energy daggers and re-catching it.

Master, huh? Whatever, it doesn't matter. I'm not letting my prize get away. As Amalthea tries to fly away, I leap forward, holding out my arm to aim my attack.

"Fᴜʟᴍɪɴᴀɴᴛ Fʟᴀsʜ."

"[M ɪ ʀ ʀ ᴏ ʀ F ᴏ ʀ ᴄ ᴇ]"

The artifact leaps into the way of my attack, absorbing the bolt with a brilliant dome of light and firing it right back at me. I slash my claws down toward the ground, creating a trail of hopelessness that the bolt follows like a lightning rod, twisting out of the way of hitting me. Still, the distraction is enough. Amalthea gets away. I click my tongue in irritation.

"Can't let you do that, fishie," the robot taunts. "I mean come on. After all the times we've fought, you really think I'm gonna fall for the ol' lightning blast trick? It's not even a trick, you just shoot lightning blasts. Like, all the time. Girls born after nineteen ninety-three only know how to eat hot chip and thunderbolt."

"Luna-san, what are you talking about?" Amaterasu asks.

Great question!

"I'm talking about Fulgora being a dummy dumb-dumb," the artifact continues. "Let's finish this already. Kakatte koi, scales-for-brains."

What the fuck? I… I don't even have scales! 

"Y'know, my buddy Bean has a crush on your brother? Which like, damn, of course they do, he's the keeperest keeper I've ever seen in my life, what a cutie. It's almost a shame that I'm g—"

I'm moving before I even think about it, rushing in to tackle that damn robot and rip its goddamn head off.

"STAY AWAY FROM MY BROTHER!" I roar at it, swinging my staff down as hard as I can.

It steps to the side, grabbing ahold of my arms and wrenching my wrists away from my staff before flipping me over its shoulder. I land hard on my back, coughing air out of my lung.

"There, that pissed you off! Temper, temper," the artifact taunts. "Same as always. Too bad you're not a red mage anymore, Fulgy. [G ʀ ᴀ s ᴘ O ғ T ʜ ᴇ C ʟ ᴀ ᴡ]!"

Wh… isn't that one of Anath's spells? My entire body suddenly feels like it's a hundred times heavier, crushing me down into the street as I struggle to free myself.

"Now, Su-san!"

"Aʙʀᴇᴀᴄᴛɪᴏɴ: Sᴜɴʙᴇᴀᴍ's Fᴀʟʟ!"

Lying on my back as I am, it's easy to spot the flash of shadow that is Amaterasu blocking out the sun an instant before she becomes far brighter still, her daggers blazing as they rocket down toward me with the wolf herself alongside them. Is this… is she going to kill me? Will I get to follow Minerva into nothing? No… she's not aiming for a lethal strike. She just wants to trap me here, drag me back to the others, but I can't go back. I can't face them, I can't ever become an Earth Guardian again!

"Vɪᴏʟᴇɴᴛ Aᴇɢɪs!" 

A painfully familiar voice shouts a spell, and a brilliant red shield blooms into existence between Amaterasu and me. The wolf crashes into it, and it erupts in retaliation, transitioning from a shield to a burning pillar of energy directed back in the direction it was struck. Amaterasu is engulfed inside it, screaming out in pain, and before I can spot her again, my view is encompassed by a small girl rushing in front of me and sliding to a stop. Fully armored, with a lance and shield in her hands, she's almost exactly as I remember her outside of all the blue in her costume having been turned to red.

"What the heck are you all doing?" Veritas demands. "Leave Fulgora alone!"

"Yes ma'am!" the artifact says, raising its hands and taking a step back.

"Wh—Luna!" a very singed-looking Amaterasu protests. "Veritas, get away from her!"

"No!" Veritas shouts. "You're not my team leader! She is! You step back!"

"Veritas, she's not in her right mind! She's dangerous!" Amaterasu insists.

"Amaterasu, stop. It's over," the artifact says.

What's over…? Oh. Oh, wait, I get it. Like exhaling a long-held breath, my incarnate form fades away, the last of my burning emotions finally spent or wasted. Once again, I'm cast into total darkness. Honestly, it was something of a miracle I managed to hold onto a form that unstable for as long as I did. I suppose I'm just that good at being hopeless.

"What is the matter with you!?" Veritas demands. "You find Fulgora and the first thing you do is attack her!? You really are evil!"

"Woah there, kiddo, she attacked me first," the artifact insists. "And she was hurting herself. I promise, I was trying to help."

"I don't care about your promises!" Veritas snaps. "You're stupid! You're both stupid!"

"V-Veritas…" I croak, still shocked that she's here at all. And a class change…? What a good kid.

"Fulgora!" Veritas says, and from the way the sound of her voice changes I can tell she's looking at me now, not either of them. "Are you okay!?"

"Veritas," I repeat, not having any idea what else to say.

"…I am surprised you can even recognize her," Amaterasu says.

"Well I came over here when I heard someone say 'fulminant,'" Veritas says. "Nobody else says 'fulminant.' It's not even a real word!"

"Yes it is…" I protest weakly.

"It is you!" Veritas says, a quiver in her voice. "It's really you! You're alive, even though you're a fish!"

No… no, don't. Don't say it like that. I don't deserve to make you that happy.

"I… the castle," I mumble, not able to stand staying here a moment longer. I don't belong anywhere where there is sun.

"Okay," Veritas says, and without question or hesitation she slips her arms underneath me and picks me up off the ground. What? What is…?

Oh, Veritas…

"Veritas, stop!" Amaterasu orders. "We need to get her back to Uma'tama!"

"I said no!" Veritas snaps. "I told you! You're not my team leader! You don't get to replace her, because she's still alive!"

A drop of water lands on my collarbone. Veritas sucks in a ragged breath.

"She's still alive," the girl repeats, doing everything in her power to force back her tears.

"No," I say, almost choking on nothing at all. "No, she's… Minerva is gone. It's just me. I'm not… I never…"

Veritas' small hands tighten their grip on me.

"…I don't care," Veritas says. "Just one of you is more than zero. So, we're going to the Dark World?"

"Veritas, I can't allow thi—ack! Hey!" Amaterasu sputters.

"Don't," the artifact says.

"Are you mad? Look at what the Dark World did to her! You want her to go back?"

"I want us to have a long talk about not attacking people who aren't attacking you," the artifact says. "Trust me, not a great way to build bridges. Or to keep them from burning down entirely. Fulgora is alive. That's the most important thing here. I'm not going to let you beat up a child just because you don't think she's allowed to choose where she wants to go now."

"See?" Veritas grumbles. "Even the artifact is better than you, Su-san."

"…Not really helping, kid," the artifact says.

"I'm not trying to help you," Veritas says, and suddenly we're moving, the girl rushing away from where we all just fought.

"Hey, Veritas!" the artifact calls out. "Keep her safe. And don't trust Melpomene!"

Veritas only stops for a moment to respond.

"Don't talk to me like I'm stupid!" she shouts back, and then we're off, leaping up onto some intact rooftops once we're away from the devastation of my attack.

Amaterasu and the artifact are kinda loud, though, and I think my hearing is getting better. I catch a bit more of their conversation as Veritas carries me away.

"I thought you, of all people, would understand the dangers of associating with the Dark Rebellion," Amaterasu growls. 

"What I understand is the value of free will," the artifact fires back. "And also, the value of not fighting battles we can't win."

"Oh, is that what you value!? Could have fooled me! Look at all this! Look around us! She would have killed you if I hadn't intervened! She's not well!"

"Well beating her and Veritas up is not going to improve her mental health! We need to be careful with how we handle this and not just…!"

…And that's about the last of what I hear. Arguing about me. About how best to 'handle' me. Bastards. If they had any sense they'd just put me down like I deserve.

That was… a very wide-range attack I used on Earth without really thinking about it. I wonder if I ended up killing anyone? I suppose I probably did. Hopefully they'll realize that, and fight harder next time.

We killed our monster buddy, didn't we…? Oh no…

I thought I told you to shut up!

S-sorry. Sorry…

I huff out an irritated breath, settling into Veritas' arms and trying my best not to think about them. I'm trying not to think about anything, really. I don't understand what she's doing here. I don't understand why she's carrying me back to the Dark Rebellion. I don't understand why she's holding onto me so tightly. I'm not deserving of any of the reasons someone might do something like this.

I can feel it when we pass into the liminal zone, the overlap between our bubble of reality and the Dark World fragment converging with it. I feel it again, far more strongly, as we pass into the Dark World proper, the roiling thunderclouds overhead and the black mists returning knowledge of my surroundings to me immediately, feeling more like home than Earth ever did. It's not a thought that brings me any comfort, but it's still true.

Maybe that says more about my life on Earth than anything else, though.

Soon, Veritas gets us to the castle and pushes open the gates. It only occurs to me now that based on what I know from when Minerva came to this fragment, it should be impossible for her to see anything. I'm not sure how Veritas navigated us here, but… I suppose it's nothing to complain about.

The inside of the castle leaves me blind once again, though I can at least feel the concentrated masses of red and purple shuffle as they hear the doors slam shut. Melpomene approaches, and soon I'll be able to see again.

I didn't think it was possible, but Veritas' grip gets even tighter as Melpomene approaches, her fingers starting to dig painfully into my skin. I don't really care, though. It's just pain.

"Fulgora! You're okay. Thank goodness," Melpomene says. "And is that… Veritas? Congratulations. Red suits you, my dear."

Whereas Melpomene strolled rather casually into the room, the clattering sounds I hear from Nanaya's arrival indicate more of a mad dash. As, too, does the urgency in her voice.

"Where's Anath!?" Nanaya demands.

"Anath…?" I ask. "How should I know?"

"Because you two left the castle together!" Nanaya snaps.

We did…? Oh, yeah. We did. She carried me, until…

"Last I saw her was at the lake," I say.

"What lake?" Nanaya asks.

"I don't know," I say. "One of the fragments connected to ours has a lake."

"…That rings a bell," Melpomene hums. "I think I know the one."

"They've been gone for over a day!" Nanaya snaps. "She could be anywhere by now!"

"It's still the best place to start looking, isn't it dear?" Melpomene says soothingly, brushing her thumb across Nanaya's cheekbone. "Let's depart to look for her at once. Would you like to come, Veritas?"

"That's an entirely different question! Why is she even…" Nanaya starts, but she trails off as she stares at Veritas' face. "Hrm. I see. Come along, then."

Veritas nods. I'm not really sure what Nanaya saw to make her pause, but I'm struggling to care about anything at all right now. I just feel drained and empty.

"Are we going with them?" Veritas asks me.

I don't know. I don't care.

"You are," Melpomene answers for me. Alright, then.

"We are," I repeat. So when the others exit the castle again, Veritas carries me along with them.

We travel faster than I would have expected. Nanaya sets the pace, though Melpomene is the only one who seems to know where we're going. I'm personally not sure why we're bothering to go on a wild fox chase for a girl way too unpredictable to find, but as it turns out in the end, it's not hard at all.

"There she is. Anath! Anath!" Nanaya calls out, sprinting forward.

I can feel her myself, shortly afterward. She's sitting on the lake shore, knees tucked up tight against her chest, fear, sadness, and hopelessness pouring off of her in droves. She turns toward us slowly, not even seeming to acknowledge our presence at first, but then Nanaya barrels directly into her, getting down on her knees to grab Anath by the shoulders and pull her in for a hug.

"Here you are," Nanaya says through gritted teeth. "What are you doing here? Did you get lost?"

"No, I… I lost Fulgora, she… she went in the lake, and she hasn't… I don't…" Anath says, her words slightly slurred. 

As I get closer, I can guess why: the girl doesn't seem to have slept in ages, the area under her eyes so swollen I can feel it behind her fur. She doesn't notice me at first, just sort of limply whimpering at Nanaya, but then she does see me, and she jumps to her feet immediately, breaking into a sprint directly toward me.

"Fulgora!" she shouts. "Fulgora, oh thank goodness, I thought I lost you. H-how did you get out of the lake without me… ahaha, I must have nodded off, sorry. I'm so sorry. I… I thought I'd… I'm so glad to see you!"

She reaches out to touch me, but Veritas pulls me away, shooting her a glare.

"Veritas?" Anath says, tilting her head. "Oh! Your eye. You're becoming like us too, huh?"

What…? Veritas is… no, no, no. She can't… that can't…!

What's wrong with—

"SHUT UP!" I snap. "Just. Just stop talking. Can we all head back to the castle now?"

Anath flinches back like I burned her, and I almost wish I did. Melpomene reaches down and gently runs her claws through my hair, pulling my bangs away from my useless eyes.

"Yes, it looks like everyone has had a very long day," Melpomene agrees. "Let's head back and get the two of you some rest. Come along."

Her tone is fairly light, but none of us even consider arguing, falling in automatically behind her. I guess I am kind of exhausted, come to think of it. Really, really exhausted…

"Will you be staying with us, Veritas?" Melpomene asks with what she probably believes is a charming smile on her face.

"I'm staying with Fulgora," Veritas growls.

"Excellent!" Melpomene beams. "We'll set up a room for you as well, then. Though for now, you may need to sleep on our couch."

"That's fine," Veritas says. "M'not tired."

"Of course not, dear. You're doing quite an excellent job maintaining your incarnate form, actually. You've improved leaps and bounds since I last saw you!"

"Uh… yeah," Veritas agrees awkwardly.

I don't catch any more of that conversation, if it continues at all, because the next thing I know I'm waking up on Anath's bed again, my eyes only fluttering open as I hear her shifting and mumbling to herself on the floor. This shit again, huh? I mean, I guess they don't have any spare beds… but it's still weird that Anath keeps putting me in hers.

"Anath," I grunt.

"Huhbuhwuh…?" she babbles, twitching awake. "F-Fulgora! Hi…"

"Help me up," I order her. "Where's my wheelchair?"

"G-got it…!" she stammers, shuffling around the room and eventually pushing something over to the bed and helping me into it. Good.

"I think I smell breakfast!" Anath says, audibly sniffing at the air. "Wanna go?"

"Whatever," I grunt. "Lead the way."

I want to at least wheel myself there, rather than get pushed. If she goes first I can at least follow her emotional signature closely enough to not bump into anything. Sure enough, I can soon smell eggs and probably some kind of sausage being cooked in the kitchen, making my stomach rumble. I thought I'd just eaten, though…? How long was I asleep?

"Oh good, you two are awake," I hear Nanaya's voice address us. "Where is Veritas?"

Veritas…? Oh, yeah. She…

"She's still asleep," Anath says. "I think she passed out glaring at me from the corner. Kid's all tuckered out!"

She was in the room with us the whole time…? I guess I wouldn't have felt her emotions if she wasn't dreaming. A deep sleep, then.

"Good that she is getting some rest," Nanaya hums. "And what of the two of you? Are you feeling better, Anath?"

"Yeah, I slept great!" she agrees happily. "I'm… really, really glad we got Fulgora back. I thought I… yeah. Um. Anyway, where's Mel?"

"She left to do her 'communion' before eating breakfast. Again," Nanaya reports grumpily. "That fat chest she's so proud of is going to shrink if she keeps this up."

"Aww, would that make you sad, Nana?" Anath teases.

"No," Nanaya says firmly. "But it might be the only thing that would actually motivate the damn woman to eat properly. Just look at Fulgora. 'Sustained by the Dark World' or not, she's practically a skeleton."

Hah. 'Practically.'

"I'm only halfway there," I deadpan. "I'm working on getting the rest of the way as soon as I can, so I can finally be out of everyone's hair."

The conversation goes silent. All I hear are Nanaya's footsteps, the clacking of her claws against the stone floor, as she walks up to me, puts a plate of food in front of me, and slaps me in the face so hard it makes my ears ring.

"No suicide jokes at my table," she hisses at me. "And certainly not in front of Anath. Two girls fought for the privilege to tuck you into bed safely, and you say something like that? Ungrateful wretch."

"Nanaya!" Anath yelps. "Oh my god, Fulgora, are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I grunt.

"You're already bruising…!"

"You coddle her too much, Anath," Nanaya says. "She'll never get any better if you just capitulate to her every self-destructive whim."

"And you think the right thing to do is slapping her?" Anath fires back.

Wisps of rage boil off of Nanaya like steam.

"…No," she admits through gritted teeth. "No, I don't. I lost control."

"Then apologize!" Anath demands.

"I refuse," Nanaya says, setting down another plate in front of her. "Eat your food, both of you."

"Nana…!"

"Eat. Now."

Not seeing any reason to do anything else, I do. The scrambled eggs are fluffy, with just the right amount of moisture. The sausage is juicy, salty, and spicy. It's all delicious. I eat it without a word, then roll away from the table as soon as my plate is empty, blindly heading away to god knows where.

But of course, wherever I go Anath is soon to follow. She fusses silently over me as I bump into walls and continue failing to make a mental map of the castle, no matter how many times I try to count out the number of times I spin my wheels from one end of the hall to another. Eventually, when I'm trying and failing to find my way out of what I'm pretty sure is an entirely empty room, she breaks the silence that was the only reason I was tolerating her in the first place.

"I… I'm so sorry about Nanaya," Anath whimpers.

"I already said it was fine."

 "I didn't think she would… I mean, I've never seen her hit anyone like that," she presses.

"Really? Because the two of us have quite a history of beating the shit out of each other," I remind her. "And here I thought I was the blind one."

"Those were fights. That's different," Anath insists.

"Sure, keep telling yourself that," I say. "It's fine to attack a school or put children in the hospital as long as it's a fight. But slapping someone at the dinner table? Now that's just wrong. Grow the fuck up."

"I… sorry, it's just… I don't know. I didn't think she would do something like that. Her or Mel. They're not evil. They trust each other, and… and Melpomene even saved you!"

I can't help it. There's no possible response to that other than bursting out laughing. My whole body shakes with the force of it, as utterly mirthless as it is. It's just so absurd, such a perfectly moronic thing to say that I can't help but laugh until my chest hurts so much I can no longer breathe. Anath watches my mad fit of giggles and guffaws with rising horror, and that only makes it even more hilarious.

"Saved me?" I ask, giggles still interrupting every other breath. "You think Melpomene saved me? Anath, she's the reason I'm like this. She left me in the Dark World on purpose! She knew where I was the entire time!"

"Wh-what…?" Anath breathes.

"You heard me! All eight months, or however fucking long it was. What did Nanaya say? That I was the most mutated person she's ever seen? That's fucking saying something, coming from that freak."

"N-no… she wouldn't…"

"Anath, are you seriously that stupid?" I ask. "Or do you just want to be?"

Terror and sadness fill the room as Anath's breath quickens, the girl's brain sputtering to life for perhaps the first time in her entire pathetic life.

"Oh god. O-oh god!" Anath whimpers. "Then she's… you're… Thea was right, and…! I have to get you out of here!"

"You are not taking me anywhere," I sneer. "Even if I trusted you, or liked you, I wouldn't let you do it."

"I can't just let you stay here!" Anath insists. "Mel and Nana have been getting worse and worse and I just… if she did this to you, if she turned you into this, I can't… I have to help you!"

"I DON'T WANT HELP!" I shout at her. "I don't want to be helped! Not from anyone, and certainly not from you!"

Melpomene was right, after all. I'm exactly like her. Shaky breaths and sniffs of snot are the only response I get for a while, the stupid squirrel choking down sobs for a monster who never once cared about her. Can't she just take the hint already? 

"O-okay," she manages. "I… I'm sorry."

She turns and starts to walk away. Good. Finally some peace.

Anath, wait!

Anath stops.

Don't go, please! Help me! 

No. No! Shut up! Shut up, shut up, shut up! My magic claws at the inside of my mind, hopelessness ravaging my very own soul to try and bring that stupid part of me to heel, to rip her open and cause her pain until she finally quiets down for good. But it's too late. Anath rushes over to me, yanks me out of my chair, and starts sprinting out of the room with me in her arms.

"P-put me down!" I shout, but my muscles seize as I start to squirm, the fake Minerva fighting back against me. As if I haven't taught her a lesson yet…! "I almost killed Luna and Amalthea for trying to take me back. I'll do the same to you!"

"They were together, huh? And both of them…" Anath says to herself, her voice sounding different from usual. A bit more… hollow. "I really am stupid."

I finally wrest control back from the parasite in my mind, flailing as hard as I can and shoving Anath away. Both of us tumble to the floor, and when Anath tries to get up I thrust my tail against the ground and lunge at her, managing a firm punch to her stomach that forces her back to her knees.

"Stop. Fucking. Trying," I hiss at her. "It's pathetic. It disgusts me to watch you throw everything you have into a bottomless pit."

"Y-you're not a—ah!"

I might not be able to stand, but down here on the floor she's at my level. Another punch to the face shuts her up.

"If you won't believe I belong here in hell," I hiss, "I will find a way to prove it."

"What is going on here!?" a furious Nanaya shouts, coming up from behind us. "Get off of her, Fulgora!"

She grabs me by the shoulder and yanks me away, which is perfectly fine by me. I don't want to be close to Anath anyway.

"I'm leaving, Nanaya," Anath says. "And I'm taking her with me."

Nanaya takes a moment to process that, perhaps taking in the surrounding scene with a bit more care.

"…It does not seem to me that Fulgora wishes to go," she concludes.

"You… you said she'll never get better if I car-pit-you-late," Anath says, snorting in something dripping from her nose. Snot from her tears, or blood from my punch? I hope it's blood.

Good luck, Anath.

"This is not what I meant," Nanaya says with a scowl. "We'll talk about this later. Why don't you go watch one of your shows?"

"No," Anath says. "I'm leaving."

"I'm afraid I cannot allow you to just drag Fulgora off somewhere without her consent," Nanaya says.

Just go. Get out of here. Get help.

"I'm leaving with or without her," Anath says. "I'm quitting the Dark Rebellion. Get out of my way."

The atmosphere shifts in an instant, a scraping sound from Nanaya's talons curling against the floor ringing out through the hall.

"…I cannot allow you to do that either, Anath," she says. "You're not thinking this through."

"Don't treat me like I'm having an episode," Anath hisses. "You know I'm not."

Nanaya stares at her, saying nothing.

"Did you know Mel let her transform on purpose, too?" Anath asks. "That she just let her grow teal crystals this whole time?"

"I'm sure that if we wait for Melpomene to come back, she'll have a perfectly reasonable—"

"That's not an answer!" Anath insists, breathing harder and faster. "You're not giving me an answer! What really happened with Luna, Nana? How is she still alive? Why did she and Thea leave?"

Again, Nanaya says nothing. But as Anath tries to fill the silence, she's cut off by the quiet puff of an incarnate weapon forming from nothing in the air.

"…I think it would be best if you take some time to calm down, Anath," Nanaya orders softly.

"I can calm down on Earth," Anath insists.

"Historically, that has not been a wise decision," Nanaya counters. "And it would not be a wise decision now."

"Why are you doing this?" Anath asks pleadingly. "Just let me go. Please."

"I love you, Anath. I want what's best for you."

"I know you love me," Anath says firmly. "I know that. But that's not why you're doing this."

The two of them stare each other down. I stay on the floor, utterly uncaring about how this turns out.

You can do this, Anath. Get out of here.

"Please don't make this a fight, Anath," Nanaya says. "Please. I will beg if I must. Just turn around. You know you cannot beat me."

"I don't think I know anything anymore," Anath cries, incarnate energies already starting to bloom from the stone on her choker.

Nanaya sighs, her own power swelling in preparation for combat as well. And here I am too, nothing but an observer. Though that's not quite true, is it? I'm the whole reason for this fight, a fight I have no intention of doing anything to stop.

Yet another family, destroyed by me. I suppose I can't call myself surprised.